HER OWN MIND

Sometimes a mom has to have her eyes opened to her own small-mindedness by her daughter.  Sometimes she cannot see her own prejudice until the light of her life holds it up to her.  

This has happened to me since Natalie could talk.  Usually she is gentle about it, (although notsomuch when she was a teenager).

I don't always like it because I am the mom and I don't want any come-uppins by a child who would not be here but for me (she's 42 now). 

For example, today, in a light-hearted, silly mood I said to Natalie, "Honey, I don't get Bruce Jenner."

Nat:  "You don't get him?"

Me:  "Yes.  Why does he want to dress up like a woman?  It confuses me."

Nat:  "YOU'RE confused?  I think he is confused, Mom."

Me:  (Back-pedaling and mumbling, twirling my hair and biting my lip ) "Oh, I'm sure, I'm sure.  It can't be easy." 

Nat:  "I read an article on transgender personalities and it really opened my eyes to how difficult it is to be transgender.  They have a very high suicide rate."

Me:    "Oh, I'm sure!  I'm sure they didn't wake up one day and decide to be someone that people make fun of." (Yikes.)

Nat: (Sweetly) "Umhummm.  It's very hard for them."

And I hadn't thought of any of this...just that they might be good for a laugh.

I need to point out here that my daughter is one of the least self-righteous people I have ever known.  And she loves me unconditionally.  She would take a bullet for me, I know it.  She's not trying to make me feel uncomfortable.  She's not even trying to change me.  She's just being true.

I like that she tries to understand people's differences rather than judge them.  I'm so glad she's liberal and open-minded and honest and real.  I don't want a Molly Mormon for a daughter.  I just want Natalie, whoever she really is.  Not perfect but usually sensitive and deep and kind and thoughtful.

She's always been her own person.  I've been told she takes after me.  I hope that is true.