FLAT AFFECT AND PAPER DOLL HEADS

FLAT AFFECT AND PAPER DOLL HEADS

My beautiful, smart, funny sisters and I all share two mysterious physiological phenomena that medical science has yet to explain.

1.  FLAT AFFECT

If we are not smiling, all four of us can look:  bored, angry, tired, dull, dead, blank, sad…you get the picture.  We can be feeling joyous, surprised, excited, afraid, serene and content, deep in thought, …it matters not.  Our facial expressions are so bland and scowly and FLAT that people can't help but comment sometimes, "You look so tired!"  "Aren't you feeling well?"  "Is something bothering you?"  "Why are you sad?" 

Even when I think I have a gentle smile on my face, it is not reflected in my expression.   Instead, you will see a cold-hearted Leona Helmsley look-alike where my happy face should be.  (My driver's license looks just like her).

Nothing can be done.  It is a malady we have learned to accept and live with.  But just don't try to interpret our feelings by reading our face.  You will get it wrong every time.  Just assume that we are happy…because we usually are.  (And if we aren't we don't want you to know it.)

2.  PAPER DOLL HEADS

The second curious medical mystery is that the four of us, while having normal-sized faces with all the necessary features such as nose, eyeballs, etc, …well, when we turn to the side you can see that THERE IS NO ACTUAL FORMATION OF HEAD!.  We have FLAT HEADS.    I call this crazy curiosity "Paper Doll heads".  Our heads are nearly one-dimensional! We have to do a lot of fluffing and ratting and spraying to make the backs of our heads look like there is something there.  Also, we don't usually look good in ponytails, etc.  In spite of this oddity (for which there is no known origin or treatment) we have all managed to lead reasonably normal lives.

(I wonder if it's Mom's fault, laying us on our backs as babies too long...that kind of thing.)

By the grace of God, none of our beautiful children show signs of having flat head.

I came across some research recently suggesting that a person with a larger head had a larger brain which resulted (I AM NOT KIDDING) in greater intelligence.

My husband says my head is the size of an orange and I will say no more on this subject.