If I ever had it, it is long gone. "Spatial awareness"..the intuitive sensing of solid and immovable objects in one's path. As a grammatically challenged friend of mine might say, "She don't got it" (she being me).
Last week .....twice in the same evening (don't judge me), I gave myself two (self-diagnosed) concussions. The first one occurred when I opened the microwave door smack into my forehead (I saw stars) and the second when I closed the trunk of my car right on aforementioned forehead creating another goose egg that is still tender as I write this.
Who does that?
Worse is that my very own flesh and blood daughter who I love more than life and is one of the sweetest people you'll ever meet, thinks there is nothing funnier than watching someone (usually me) get hurt. She will howl with laughter and be rolling on the floor with uncontrollable chortles, holding her stomach and trying not to let me see the pure enjoyment on her face as I bleed to death from ...oh. say... tripping over my own shoes and falling face first into a pile of rocks.
She says it's the look of confusion and awkwardness on people's faces (usually me) as they try to regain balance and preserve a little dignity that she finds so funny.
Her explanations do not exonerate. I have practiced my expressions of cold rebuke in the mirror but they do not phase her.
As I get ready for bed at night and examine bruised shoulders ( walking into walls), scraped shins (I still don't know how far to stand back when I open my car door), and sore hip bones (kitchen counter bumps), I wonder when or if I'll ever get grace back. But why worry about it if it entertains others so?
One small sacrifice, albeit a painful one, to bring a smile to dear Natalie's face.
The little rat!
Is that a thing? Maybe it's genetic because I do the same thing! My kids tease me that I can't walk through a room without running into something. I feel your pain!
ReplyDeleteOw! Hitting your head is more annoying than anything. It makes you want to fart in someone's face.
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